Q: How Many Halfords Employees Does It Take To Open A Display Cabinet?

[Karma Supra]

I decided to nip into Halfords on my lunch break, to pick up a few bits and bobs for the car to do a few little jobs that need doing before my Nurburgring trip at the end of the month... One of these jobs is to change a seeping diff output shaft seal, which for some reason BMW in their infinite wisdom decided to fix with inverted Torx bolts, meaning I had to buy a specific tool from the glass security cabinets, being Halfords this proved to be harder than anticipated.

My first task was to actually find a member of staff on the shop floor, -there was one, the girl on the checkout, a curious creature with lots of piercings and a long motionless face that appeared to be totally grey... she moved very slowly and seemed to think thoroughly about what she was going to say, and on doing so carefully chose words with only one syllable. –Infact her only redeeming feature if you can call it that was that at least while you were waiting for her next carefully formulated response you could try and guess what else she had pierced... She slowly tried each of the three keys on the chain at least four times each, tried the bottom lock (Not sure what she was willing to achieve by this, unless she was going to climb up inside the cabinet) but got nowhere...

Whilst she struggled with the locks, another employee scuffled out, he was a short Asian (or whatever the politically correct term is these days) chap with an “unwashed” smell that could stop a freight train at fifty yards, he appeared to struggle with even single syllable words (to me anyway) and half heartedly prodded the lock with a key for a minute or so before employee no. 3 came along, a malnourished looking teenager. Greasy curtains framing an acne riddled face, I suspect his bodily odour would have been equally powerful had it not been covered up with a liberal application of what was probably Lynx. He ran his greasy palms over the lock for a bit before proclaiming that he couldn’t get enough grip, just in time for what I’d imagine was a manager (or sorts) to join in the fun.

Mr Manager was far thicker set than any of his colleagues with an incredibly large forehead, glasses and ability to bark orders at underlings in such a way that they felt motivated enough to deliberately take ages in doing anything (in this case get some screwdrivers). After struggling for a little longer one of his minions returned only to be shooed off as a screwdriver wouldn’t have been any help after all... At this point I decided I had far better things to do with what little remained of my lunch break and made my excuses and left.

Seriously though, where do they get these idiots from? I’d have thought in the current climate there are plenty of people that are willing to take pretty much any job that are not bordering on being educationally sub normal?? Or have general standards in education/IQ really slipped that much?

[toyboata]

hahahaha ...what an episode!!

[dave.m]

At work we find this company useful, should be a branch near you -

http://www.cromwell.co.uk/index

[cabcurtains]

Retail attracts people who dont want to be there like most industries, except you deal with them face to face :ffs:

I had a similar thing with the panel filter on the Verso, it took 3 people not knowing how to use the computer to tell me it didn’t exist, i had to fight them and then the "parts" man came along who found it in seconds.......prior to this i phoned the Worksop branch at 5 minutes before opening and got the std phone response ending in how can i help, i tell them what i want and they listen and then say sorry cant help were not open yet, whilst its not funny you cant help but laugh.

[GIDDLEPIN]

I'll have you know that not all Halfords employees are like that Charlie.

I recently bought a TomTom from a branch in Hull and when I took it back because of a slight problem they............................................didn't have a clue

Yes they are all like that :(

[cabcurtains]

I suspect they have some kind of policy on not employing people who like cars or can drive as its against the human rights of non car fans and non car drivers

[Leeky]

Standard Halfords Interview Procedure

1. Say "Hello". Welcome them to the interview. Explain to them that you are going to conduct a short test.

2. Hold up the picture of the Volvo

3. Ask the question "What is this?"

4. If the reply is "A Volvo" proceed to point 7. If the reply is "a Car" proceed to point 6. If the reply is "a tree", "a duck" or any thing else proceed to point 5.

5. Give this person a job on the till.

6. Give this person a job on the Parts Desk

7. Make this person a manager as they truly are a Jedi.

[KPARRIS-JONES]

Standard Halfords Interview Procedure

1. Say "Hello". Welcome them to the interview. Explain to them that you are going to conduct a short test.

2. Hold up the picture of the Volvo

3. Ask the question "What is this?"

4. If the reply is "A Volvo" proceed to point 7. If the reply is "a Car" proceed to point 6. If the reply is "a tree", "a duck" or any thing else proceed to point 5.

5. Give this person a job on the till.

6. Give this person a job on the Parts Desk

7. Make this person a manager as they truly are a Jedi.

I had to move to 5.....

I do hate it when I have to go to Halfords.

It's hard enough to say 'hello' and 'thank you' being 14, but when they don't even return the politeness, I just get so frustrated.

My particular favourite is when I go to my local Budgens for my mum. The man (at least I think its a man) will be sniffing and wiping his nose with his hand, then he'll put the food into bag. Then he'll simply utter 'tenner'. Once I give him the money, there's no nod or thank you or cheers. All I hear is the sound of coughing into the cash register looking for my change, which is then handed to me with a grunt and a long face. He'll obviously move to high places in his life.....

[Karma Supra]

Never mind I have managed to borrow one off Bibbs!

Les At least with you they managed to get the satnav out of the secure cabinet!

[Red diesel]

Ah it can be hard to get the attitude right at times - theres days there id find it hard to get into the flow and the right mood to do a real good days work. But those 4 are taking the micheal altogether

Red diesel

[no_data]

That was such a funny post I am still giggling now

even funnier as I was a modifier for Ripspeed at Harlow Halfrauds a few years back & we actually had some good staff then. We all had cool cars, had worked in various car jobs before & we all still keep in contact now. Shame they dont know a sick bag from an airbag these days.

HOWEVER----------->

I went in a Nissan dealership to ask about the Nissan Cube to which the salesman (alien) told me there was no such car & I was getting confused with some little car he kept pointing out on the forecourt, I advised him I was not stupid & had indeed followed 3 Cubes now & thought they were cool to which he once again sighed at a woman being so thick & pointed to the new little nissan outside. I then raised my voice quite loudly & asked him if my 15years in the car trade would help me know the difference between a Micra & a %$(in cube! His manager then came over, advised the thick salesman that there was indeed a car called a Cube & it was import only all the time not even looking at me & my friend. (another girl). Ignorant tossers is what I think was shouted on way out of the showroom.

Jaine

[Wild west Drifter]

Went into the Horsham branch this morning to buy some number plate sticky pads - Not in stock, asked some spotty ? when they will havesome in. - reply don't know. :(

Went over to look at some tools I wanted and saw what I wanted in the display cabinet.

Asked different member of staff (there were actually 5 on the shop floor, 2 on the parts counter and 2 on the tills ), looked like he had just left school to be told

"Certainly sir, we have them out the back I'll get you one and bring it to the till for you."

I went over to the till with my other purchases and he came rushing over to the till with it while I waited for the person in front to find his plastic card and remember his pin.

That youngster in my book has the potential to get on really well in the retail trade.

[Brandane]

How different it is in the USA!! Any time I have been in a shop over there, it is always "Hi sir, how you doing today? If you need any help just let me know, my name is xxxxx, have a nice day now, etc......" to the point that it can all seem a bit false (but it's probably not, just that us Brits aren't used to it).

After 2 weeks of such service a few years ago, I flew home and went back to work. Went out at lunchtime to get a couple of filled rolls from my local branch of a well known (in Greenock anyway) chain of bakers. As I stood at the counter, there was no-one else in the shop. A red haired girl appeared from the back shop and barked "NEXT"! As I was the only person in the shop, I assumed she meant me, so asked for 2 rolls with cheese. "We've no' got any made up!". Me.... Well, can you maybe make them up? Her.... "Aye, but you'll need to wait", and disappears away into the back shop again. 5 minutes later, she re-appears and throws the rolls across the counter at me.... "£3.20" (or whatever extortionate price it was at the time). So I paid, and left, never to return.......

[Bibbs]

How different it is in the USA!! Any time I have been in a shop over there, it is always "Hi sir, how you doing today? If you need any help just let me know, my name is xxxxx, have a nice day now, etc......" to the point that it can all seem a bit false (but it's probably not, just that us Brits aren't used to it).

I'd rather be told to "have a nice day" by someone who didn't mean it, than be told to "f**k off" by someone who did.

[KPARRIS-JONES]

How different it is in the USA!! Any time I have been in a shop over there, it is always "Hi sir, how you doing today? If you need any help just let me know, my name is xxxxx, have a nice day now, etc......" to the point that it can all seem a bit false (but it's probably not, just that us Brits aren't used to it).

I'd rather be told to "have a nice day" by someone who didn't mean it, than be told to "f**k off" by someone who did.

I don't know...I prefer honesty myself.

[Rustynuts]

I was in Halfords Darlington last year, stood in the queue waiting to be served with a couple of bits of Meguiars stuff, and the woman in front of me had a set of cheapo rubber floor mats in her hand. She plonked them on the counter and popped her card into the reader, then noticed that one corner had been badly made and was short of about half an inch of rubber. She says to the woman on the till "Can I get another set, these are damaged?" and the cashier says "Oh no problem. Just leave those here and go get another set."

5 minutes later, milady comes back with a different set and they continue with the finance bit.

"Would you like a bag for these?"

"Yes please. Oh and can you remove the tag for me aswell please." You know the ones, the plastic unbreakable thread type things that hold the paper tag on, and are impossible to break without the use of an angle grinder or plasma cutter. So miss cashier grabs the mats in one hand, and the tag in the other, and heaves on it for all she's worth..... and pulls the plastic tag straight through the mat and puts a %$(in big hole in it, then puts them in the carrier bag. Customer sees what happened and is apparently quite happy with the treatment her new mats have just received, despite the fact that they're now in a worse condition than the first pair she decided were faulty.

And when I've paid for my stuff and got outside, milady is merrily fitting her newly damaged £5 rubber mats in her brand new Audi Cabriolet.

Sometimes I despair.

[toyboata]

lmao...very strange, i do wonder what goes on in the minds of some people - i really do lol!

[Karma Supra]

Assume everyone is an idiot untill they prove themselves otherwise :D

[no_data]

We used to have a Formula One autocentre (you know the ones, they employ people even Sh** fit would not take on) & the so called mechanics used to come in my branch of Halfrauds in thier lunch hour & shoplift tools! A lot of my staff used to ignore theft but I went up to one of the spotty oikes one day & told him to leave my %$(ing stock alone or I would not only prosecute but call the local paper & get them to run a story on it. Then I called his manager & got him sacked. Funny, they all stopped coming in after that.