This One Made Me Giggle!...

[Fizz]

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said; Hey, I haven't

seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible.

The pirate replied; What do you mean? I'm fine.

The bartender said; What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that

before.

Well, said the pirate, We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball

hit my leg, but the Doc fixed me up, and I'm fine, really.

Oh, yeah; the bartender replied. Well what about that hook?

The last time I saw you, you had both hands.

The pirate replied; Well, we were in another battle and we boarded

the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off, but

the Doc fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really.

Oh, said the bartender, what about that eye patch? The last time you

were in here you had both eyes.

The pirate replied; One day when we were at sea, some birds were

flying over the ship. I looked up and one of them !Removed! in my eye.

No kidding, said the bartender. You couldn't have lost an eye just

from bird !Removed!

The pirate replied; It was my first day with the hook. :!Removed!:

[vmail]

Ha

[toyotasera.co.uk]

A man, an ostrich and a cat walk into a bar...

The bar tender says, "What would you like Sir?"

The man says, "I'll have a pint of beer."

He looks at the ostrich and says, "What will you have?"

"I'll have a pint of beer" says the ostrich.

He looks at the cat, "What will you have?"

"Half a pint of beer - but I'm not paying."

"That will be £12.65" says the bartender.

So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly £12.65.

The next day after work the man goes into the same bar.

"What'll it be today?" says the bartender.

"Double whisky on the rocks"says the man.

He looks at the ostrich and says, "What will you have?"

"I'll join him in a double whisky" says the ostrich.

He looks at the cat, "What will you have?"

"Half a pint of beer-but I'm not paying" says the cat.

"That will be £21.95" says the bartender.

So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly £21.95.

The next day after work the man goes into the same bar.

"Excuse me" the bartender, says, "I was just wondering why, no matter what the price, you always have the exact change in your pocket?"

"Well" says the man, "when my grandmother died she left me everything in her house and inside there was a lamp.

So I rubbed it and out popped a genie. It granted me three wishes.

So I asked that every time I wanted to buy something I would have the exact change in my pocket".

"That's brilliant" says the bartender. "You'll never ever run out of money.

What else did you ask for?"

The man sighs and says, "A bird with long legs and a tight !Removed!!!"

[vmail]

lol, gettin better

[jaxx]

heard em both but still funny!

[97paseo]

[Jimlad]

lol.... very good !

[Leeky]

Cracking