Buzz Words

[dave5282]

I am sick of people in the office using daft Buzz words, that I have no idea what they mean!!!

" umm we should extend the marketable reach of our networking capabilities, then touch base for a quick conflab on the branches thrown out"

Whats that all about,

Networking??

Conflab ???

Touch Base ???

Branches thrown out???

Please help, know any good ones I can throw back at the users of the office scurge??? :arrgg-matey:

[Bibbs]

Have a look here

Hours of fun at work ..

[Bibbs]

and the best - bullsh*t bingo

[rickers]

I used to work for Honeywel, and we used to be covered in it.

The best (worst) was all these american buzzwords being rammed down our throats :!Removed!:

bring on dilbert :hokus-pokus:

[dave5282]

Nice one Bibbs I had heard of Buzz word bingo but never been introduced

[yannick]

There's one word I had difficulty with in IBM-speak: "fingercheck"

Apparently it means "typo"

[Sirius]

I would love to know what a 'value added strategy' is.

Another one which really gets on my nerves is 'closure' as in.....we need to get closure on this issue.

The director of my department at our last team meeting spoke for literally 45 minutes without actually having said a single word. Quite incredible.

[dazwan]

If you want to think of any good buzz words you really need to think "outside the box" and I think together if we can get the "Synergies" right we should be able to "put this one to bed" :P

[jimma]

Theyre just American words/phrases to make them sound more clever. I hate Americanisms, I'll get myself beat up one day. Some bloke was in front of me in a Queue and he says 'Can I GET some coffee' - I wanted to shout from the Q 'NO you ****ing can't GET some coffee but you can HAVE some Coffee, you septic loving T**ser'

[Fidgits]

I would love to know what a 'value added strategy' is.

Another one which really gets on my nerves is 'closure' as in.....we need to get closure on this issue.

The director of my department at our last team meeting spoke for literally 45 minutes without actually having said a single word. Quite incredible.

'Value added Strategy' - this means, what can your strategy (plan) offer that is unqiue to the talents of your company. The 'value add' really is the extra service/product that you offer above your competitors.

'Closure' simply means close the deal...

[Fidgits]

Whats that all about,

Networking??

Conflab ???

Touch Base ???

Branches thrown out???

Please help, know any good ones I can throw back at the users of the office scurge??? :arrgg-matey:

Networking - meeting people in the industry, through social means, creating a larger contact base.

ConFlab - dunno, new brand of cereal???

Touch Base - in a nutshell, this means 'speak to you' and 'get up to date', i.e. your boss might call to touch base, and find out what you've done in his absense.

[jimma]

Whats that all about,

Networking??

Conflab ???

Touch Base ???

Branches thrown out???

Please help, know any good ones I can throw back at the users of the office scurge??? :arrgg-matey:

Networking - meeting people in the industry, through social means, creating a larger contact base.

ConFlab - dunno, new brand of cereal???

Touch Base - in a nutshell, this means 'speak to you' and 'get up to date', i.e. your boss might call to touch base, and find out what you've done in his absense.

conflab - an informal meeting/chat

[Fidgits]

Cheers Jim... at least it explains why I didnt know it...

[jaxx]

i just look at em blankly then tell em to explain that in english

gets there in half the time and makes twice as much sense

[dave5282]

I would but they are busy cross-conferencing

:D

[LORD_ED]

At work recently i had a new lad speak in the totally opposite way saying things like:

Chatting Breeze

Jokes/joker

And he said safe far to often

im only 23 but half the time i had no idea what he was talking about.

why cant people use proper words anymore

and i have relised i am turning into my dad!

[Sirius]

'Value added Strategy' - this means, what can your strategy (plan) offer that is unqiue to the talents of your company. The 'value add' really is the extra service/product  that you offer above your competitors.

'Closure' simply means close the deal...

Errr - we/I know what they are supposed to mean.

I have found that they are mainly confined to the ranks of middle management - those who are trying to impress. No one else bothers, they just say what they mean.