How To Train A Feminist To Be A Fully Functional Housewife

[Raistlin]

1) When at home, lecture her about how men are the ones who should cook and how women shouldn't be allowed in a kitchen because men are superior at cooking. Justify this claim by stating how all the world's top chefs are men. She will then try to prove you wrong by cooking all of your meals to the best of her ability, whilst you 'protest'.

2) Next, lecture her how poor women are at time-keeping and punctuality, and again men are superior in this context. Justify this claim by stating how men wear watches because they like to constantly check the time throughout the day, whereas women do not wear watches; women wear bracelets. When she attempts to argue, justify further by questioning why your dinner is never ready in the evening when you return from work. You now will have your meals ready for you when you get home.

3) Complain about how all women are slobs, whereas men on the other hand are far more house-proud. Demonstrate the truth of this by showing how men are the ones who are responsible for designing and building storage space to keep items to avoid clutter, and how men are the ones chiefly in charge of getting rid of rubbish, e.g. how it's a man's job to empty the bins, not to mention how throughout history men have designed all forms of waste management. Typically, a feminist will set out to prove you wrong by showing how women are equally capable, (if not superior) of keeping things tidy.

4) Finally, Complain how women pay no attention to detail and cannot carry out the simplest of tasks. Use the example of when a man asks for a beer whilst watching the footie. Women tend to grab the closest beer to them; therefore the warmest. Whereas men on the other hand will ALWAYS grab the one at the back of the fridge which we know is the coldest. That is why men are better and completing simple tasks. When she argues, tell her to prove you wrong.

Eventually, you will have a feminist working her socks off to cook you the best meal she can, just in time as you arrive home from work. She will also keep the house spotless for you, and will even empty the bins. And as a bonus, you get a nice cold beer to go with the footie in the evenings. Thus the transformation from a whining sexist bitch to a fully-functional housewife is complete.

Result...

[Red Yaris 54]

Brave.......Foolish Man!

[Bizarra]

I have copied, pasted & sent this to many of my Female friends.......... together with your address & phone number :lol2:

[Raistlin]

It was just a joke Miss...

[Red Yaris 54]

It was just a joke Miss...

Of course that is not true...............If it had been a joke, you would have put it on your "Joke Page"

You cannot backpedal now that you have upset the Female TOC Membership!!

[Bizarra]

Or....... Mama said I could !

[Raistlin]

I sure once they have read the post they will understand the error of their ways and go back to being subservient and only too eager to please

[Red Yaris 54]

I sure once they have read the post they will understand the error of their ways and go back to being subservient and only too eager to please

Keep digging..............Your own grave!!

[Raistlin]

I'm really a closet feminist, My wife broke through the glass ceiling...

Did I shout No, I just told her not to go in the conservatory and stay in the kitchen...

[Bizarra]

How about this

..........................................................................................

Prenuptial Agreement

Please sign,

I, THE UNDERSIGNED, AGREE THAT...

1. In the unlikely event of my not having an orgasm after you’ve drunkenly rolled on top of me and pumped away for five minutes, wheezing like an old man with emphysema, I shall politely fake one.

2. I fully understand that a woman’s main role in any relationship is to take the blame. So when you stub your toe in the bathroom or your football team lose, I agree that - by some complex scientific equation incomprehensible to woman - it will be my fault. Even if I wasn’t there.

3. Whenever my friends and I get together for a girlie chat, I will tell them that you are better hung than a large-balled Himalayan yak.

4. And I will also mention this to YOUR friends. A lot.

5. After sex, I will not expect you to cuddle me for hours till your arm goes dead. Nor will let my hair annoyingly get in your face.

6. I will never, ever give your penis a "cute" nickname.

7. In bed, I will be as keen as mustard to try any novel sexual position you fancy. Especially ones where I do all the work and you just lie there, grinning.

8. After we split up, I will never sleep with any of your friends or colleagues. Or anyone else you have ever met. Or may one day meet. And if men attempt to chat me up, I will solemnly inform them that you have "ruined me for other men".

9. I understand that mechanical objects like cars, computer games, and remote control devices are beyond the comprehension of women. I will only make a fool of myself if I attempt to operate them, so you’re in charge of the lot. Except for the iron and the washing machine, of course.

Signed ____________________________________

Date ______________________________________

[Raistlin]

Seems like a plan

[KPARRIS-JONES]

It was just a joke Miss...

Of course that is not true...............If it had been a joke, you would have put it on your "Joke Page"

You cannot backpedal now that you have upset the Female TOC Membership!!

There are females here!?

Why was I not informed....

[Bizarra]

It was just a joke Miss...

Of course that is not true...............If it had been a joke, you would have put it on your "Joke Page"

You cannot backpedal now that you have upset the Female TOC Membership!!

There are females here!?

Why was I not informed....

Coz you are too young to satisfy TOC females

They ARE here & a force to be reckoned with

[Raistlin]

It was just a joke Miss...

Of course that is not true...............If it had been a joke, you would have put it on your "Joke Page"

You cannot backpedal now that you have upset the Female TOC Membership!!

There are females here!?

Why was I not informed....

Coz you are too young to satisfy TOC females

They ARE here & a force to be reckoned with

A force that you've never managed to lick

[Bizarra]

It was just a joke Miss...

Of course that is not true...............If it had been a joke, you would have put it on your "Joke Page"

You cannot backpedal now that you have upset the Female TOC Membership!!

There are females here!?

Why was I not informed....

Coz you are too young to satisfy TOC females

They ARE here & a force to be reckoned with

A force that you've never managed to lick

Never got the chance :( I'm on the Island of Saints & Scholars [though you wouldn't think it nowadays ] in case you had forgotten

[Raistlin]

It was just a joke Miss...

Of course that is not true...............If it had been a joke, you would have put it on your "Joke Page"

You cannot backpedal now that you have upset the Female TOC Membership!!

There are females here!?

Why was I not informed....

Coz you are too young to satisfy TOC females

They ARE here & a force to be reckoned with

A force that you've never managed to lick

Never got the chance I'm on the Island of Saints & Scholars [though you wouldn't think it nowadays ] in case you had forgotten

Are you allergic to ferries then ?

[Bizarra]

Bit [ very ] broke at the moment, for a very good, acceptable & expensive reason YOU know !

[Raistlin]

Bit [ very ] broke at the moment, for a very good, acceptable & expensive reason YOU know !

It's probably a smoother ride..

Edit

( sorry on consideration I was a bit too rude )

[Bizarra]

Bit [ very ] broke at the moment, for a very good, acceptable & expensive reason YOU know !

It's probably a smoother ride..

Edit

( sorry on consideration I was a bit too rude )

It's ok I do rude, usually to the wrong people at inopportune times :shutit:

No offence taken :lol2: