Revenge On The Telemarketer

[Raistlin]

Three Little Words That Work

(1)

The three little words: 'Hold On, Please...'

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear BT's 'beep-beep-beep' tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset....you have efficiently completed your task.

These three little words could help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2)

Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and record's the time of day when a person answers the phone.

This technique is then used to determine the best time of day for a 'real' salesperson to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering: If you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialled the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer...

(3)

When you get those 'pre-approved' letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-prepaid return envelopes, right?

It costs them more than the regular postage 'IF' and when they are returned. It costs them nothing if you throw them away.

In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-prepaid return envelopes.

Send an advert for your local chimney sweeper to American Express... They might need one!

Send a pizza coupon to HSBC... In case their canteen packs up. You get the idea.

If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them back their blank application form.... After all, it is their form!

If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you return.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them, and it is their envelope after All! you are just returning it!!!!

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the post, but folks....we need to OVERWHELM them, in order to stop them.

Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!

Let's help keep Royal Mail busy. Since the Royal Mail is saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, let's help them so they will not need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea!

If enough people follow these tips, it will work...

[Bizarra]

And you can try........

Telesales 2

When you receive that phone call ...

1. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.

2. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

4. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

5. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

6. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

7. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I’ll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I’m not wearing any clothes."

8. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your momma?"

9. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . .louder . . . louder . . .

10. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

[Raistlin]

You could ask them to wait while you knock one off, although I have yet to finish before they've hung up...

[bothwell_buyer]

when Roger phones, speaking frae Mumbai, one answers in ones best Scots - whitisityawant ?

"Is the owner of the house in" is generally the response.

then "nawamjistthepainterpaintingthefeckinwallswhiteanhavegotpaintallloverthisfeckincarpet" normally takes them 28 minutes to find it on the decipher screen.

And to think my previous job was to promote telesales to companies on behalf of BT - I used tae get 7% of the additional call bill! One reason why I could retire at age 44 !!