The Dreaded Vuvuzela

[Bizarra]

One man's view in a letter to the Editor. His name has been omitted for privacy

Curse of vuvuzela

Sunday July 11 2010

Sir -- Apart from a compelling urge to throttle the cat, some light palm-sweating, aching ears, and an irrational fear of wind instruments, there are no lasting side-effects from the curse of the vuvuzela.

That said, on its own, this little plastic mite is quite harmless. However, when they multiply to a level of 60,000 and gather in one semi-enclosed arena, they become highly toxic and contagious.

I am absolutely certain that the trauma suffered by players, officials and spectators at the hands (or should that be mouths) of exuberant vuvuzela blowers is far more severe than was first thought. Professional footballers are, apparently, most at risk.

They are finely tuned artists, and those who make it to the World Cup see that honour as an opportunity to impress the creme de la creme of top football managers.

But none of these sensitive souls could have foreseen the destructive force of the vuvuzela.

Carefully nurtured reputations have bitten the dust as internationally venerated gods see their pin-point passes end up in the top tier of the stands, and cat-like goalies look on in horror as the opposing goalie's kickout sails erratically into the back of the net.

Internationally renowned commentators blame the light ball. Some blame the rare air. Even the match officials are ostracised for their crazy decisions. But I have known, since the opening ceremony, that this tournament was always headed for the rocks.

[Phoenix999]

I think that every owner/blower of these damn things should have inserted up their rear end so they can play it that way

[Bizarra]

I think that every owner/blower of these damn things should have inserted up their rear end so they can play it that way

No way !!!!!! It is bad enough shaking the spittle out of them..........

[Raistlin]

Apparently, there's an app for the iPhone that allows you to play a Vuvuzela.

Imagine that - the most pointless, annoying instrument in the world which all these brainless morons are clinging to it like flies to shit,

And now it has a Vuvuzela app...

[Bizarra]

Apparently, there's an app for the iPhone that allows you to play a Vuvuzela.

Imagine that - the most pointless, annoying instrument in the world which all these brainless morons are clinging to it like flies to shit,

And now it has a Vuvuzela app...

No sympathy You shouldn't have wasted your pocket money on one of those things :lol2:

[Raistlin]

I'm a Blackberry man

[Bizarra]

I'm a Blackberry man

Is it safe to say that ? The Political Correctness Police lurk everywhere Do you remember the Post about the unfortunates who called others a Coconut & again a Banana?

[Raistlin]

Berry not Bury

[Bizarra]

Berry not Bury

Berry to bury you is the currant opinion. Sloe & sure

[Raistlin]

Well raisoned :D

[Bizarra]

You Sultana me again ? I'll have you know I'm a Kernel in the Currant Red army :P & I don't play Gooseberry with Nuts

[Raistlin]

Maybe I should Pear you up with a partner that likes pickled Walnuts, Someone like Hazel, you could throw her on the Strawberry you Nuts as long as it's not too Blueberry and you don't spill the cream

[Bizarra]

ACORNy line like that earns you a good Gherkin. Squash you flat, I will :P

Rhubarb, rhubarb :shutit:

[Raistlin]

Nothing Beets the taste of fresh vegtables, It's Bean ages since we Sprouted this Caper, Lettuce hope that you know your Onions and word of this doesn't Leek out.

That's Shallot

[Boro Sera]

anyway, just in case you're missing the lovely sound of the Vuvuzela you can use this useful internet application.

>> Vuvuzela time <<

[Raistlin]

I wondered what I was going to do after tonight to replace that melodic tone...

Seems I don't have to