Completely Ot: Things You Won't Hear Said In A Farmer's House.

[Mike JD]

Completely OT except for a vague 4x4 connection but if anyone else here is a bit rural it might raise a smile. Seen on the Farmers Weekly website:

"Comments you're unlikely to hear in a farmer's house at this time of year:

• I’ve taken the chainsaw out of the kitchen.

• Oh, you’ve hoovered - I better take my boots off.

• I’ve fixed the broken toilet seat.

• Can you go to the local machinery dealer and get me a new hose for the tractor. No rush.

• I think Elle MacPherson is overrated.

• I’ve decided to forego that new tractor - we’ll spend it on a kitchen extension instead.

• The police have been to take a statement about the break-in last January.

• I think this old jumper needs to go in the re-cycling.

• I’ve been speaking to DEFRA, they were really helpful (note: this did actually happen!)

• The weather looks good for a week or so, let’s forget the harvest and go away for a few days, I’ve always fancied glamping.

• I don’t know, all these shoes you’ve got, we must buy a larger shoe rack.

• I’ve just been speaking to the local machinery dealer - that part I need for the combine is an absolute bargain, I think I’ll order two.

• Yes, tell Sue and Roger that we’ll definitely be at their barbeque a week on Saturday.

• My overalls were really dusty so I’ve put them in the washing machine, remind me to hang them out - it’s a great drying day.

• Oh dear, it’s raining, never mind.

• Yes, by all means turn the TV over, it’s only the weather.

• I was going to combine the lower field tomorrow, but as it’s your birthday we’ll go out for the day instead.

I'm not a farmer but still guilty of several of those, starting with thre first two.

Mike D