German Soldiers Growing Breasts

[Raistlin]

The German army could be trying out a surprising new defence strategy after it emerged their soldiers were growing breasts as a result of a new hard-hitting rifle drill.

Members of the country’s elite fighting force have begun developing man-boobs in a potentially-innovative approach to defeating enemy forces.

Soldiers from the Wachbataillon guard battalion are experiencing the unintentional side effect as a result of slapping their rifles too hard on their chest during drills.

More than 75 per cent of the battalion have developed the weapons of mass distraction after being affected by the condition known as one-sided gynecomastia which has stimulated growth in the soldiers’ glands.

‘There is a very significant link between the activity in the guard battalion and the development of the breast on the left side,’ Professor Bjorn Krapohl told the German Herald.

‘They need to change the way they drill. The constant slamming of the rifles against the left hand side of the chest is clearly a significant factor.’

An army spokesman said ‘affected soldiers are being medically supervised and treated individually’.