Will My Rav4 Get To Paris Faster Than A Train?

[bothwell_buyer]

Well, the answer has to be yes!

I did the 2 hours before embarkation from Glasgows Airport to take the easijet to Charles de Gaulle (thocht he wis deid) which took longer than it takes me tae drive tae Englandshire. Of course I had to drive to Glasweegys airport which was another half hour and park up at the pre-booked allocated parking lot.

90 minutes in the plane, suffering fro cramp, no view, telt tae pit ma seatbelt on despite my seatbelt exemption certificate; weighed ma bags oan check in and stripping doon tae ma singlet an troosers - nae belt - then no swally oan the plane unless ye coffed up 5 euros fur a plastic cup....

Arriving at Charles de Gaulles deid airport in the blizzard, an having tae walk ootside tae get taew the terminii in ra fawin snae!!!

Wait til the baggage handlers had dropped ma case several times in the wetness afore throwing it onto a wee truck so ah cuid hae the pleasure of waiting in the baggage recovery area (well named) ... then collecting sodden bag and working oot whither ma 12kg o haggis was an acceptable import, me an the missus followed the signs fur the train.

RER it wis called. In the airport ye need tae walk 7 miles tae get tae the platform which is good for healthy people and a killer for Scotsmen.

Whit dis RER stand fur? Its Rubbish Electrical Railway I think.

Anchormans relative wis driving said train which we eventually caught after mastering the electronic ticket machines - only 1 was taking credit cards out of 8 machines which most foreigners didn't unnerstan. bein a canny scotsman a watched the French expurts ... so 2 tickets obtained fur aboot 19.5 euros.

Got on the train, which had signs saying it wis travellin tae Paris. Whit a joke. We got 3 stops at stations then it jist sat still. Fur an hour.

They decided it wis faulty and everywan aff. Platform 4 we wis oan an sum French aristocrat shouted next train to Paris platform 2. I knew she shouted that cos swarms of people frae platform 4 rushed doon the tunnels tae platform 2.

Having got tae platform 2, the train wis crammed an no sign o the missus so i waited. The train moved aff, driven this time by duncerduncs a think cos it went aff like a bat oot o hell. An the missus wis still oan platform 2. Ah shouted at her tae get tae platform 2.... then 5 minutes later a French porter wi scant knowledge of Scottish said the next train tae paris is platform 4. So ah went tae platform 4 tae see ma beloved stanin oan platform 2.

Some 40 minutes later we were both on platform 4 and eventually got on a train to gay Paris.... cold and hungry.

A short 50 minute sprint from the RER platform station to the Metro and then 2 changes involving 3 heart attacks and my resolution never to go back to Paris ever again (ma elder brither lives there) we got to the destination Metro station. the blizzard was now coming in horizontal which was a problem as lack of drink meant I wis vertical. A wrong turn found us nowhere near where we were meant to be - a flat next to the Ethel Tower.

The nice foreign genetleman (not French by the way) indicated that we should retrace our steps then turn right. We did that slowly as my right leg had cramped up meaning I was walking in clockwise circles.

And so we got to the destination, having thankfully managed to pass a chinese off-licence whereupon I cleared their stock of whicky. The girl seemed quite pleased as the bottles had 2" of dust on them.

The whole journey was the most uncomfortable I have ever faced. never again.

Next time, I'll be driving despite me now having my bus pass. I can use the pass to get reductions on trains but aifter the Paris farce, ah'll no be near trains..,Nae wunner ancs and duncerduncs get paid so much...they probably never get home for weeks!!

[Davrav]

It was never like that when Judith Chalmers was in charge of foreign travel.........................

[Red Yaris 54]

I would imagine that the French had great difficulty in understanding your language as most Frenchmen and Frenchwomen can speak and understand the English language

As for your own native language...........maybe you should take an interpreter with you next time......and also get the interpreter to write your post for you ;) :)

[Hoovie]

.......most Frenchmen and Frenchwomen can speak and understand the English language

They can?!

[Red Yaris 54]

.......most Frenchmen and Frenchwomen can speak and understand the English language

They can?!

Yes they can........but often choose not to ;)

[Big Kev]

.......most Frenchmen and Frenchwomen can speak and understand the English language

They can?!

Yes they can........but often choose not to ;)

C'est pourquois vous Anglaises encontre les problems en France, mon ami Rouge Tinycar.......le nom.......? L'arrogance........non?

[The Striding Man]

Well brither Scotsman, ah felt yir pain. Wiz big John Candy and wee Stevie Martin riding shotgun wi you and yir missus?

That's why we invented whisky.....for days jist like that!

[anchorman]

........and folk knock our own railway!

[bothwell_buyer]

In the fear o afecting ma application tae becum a mudegeraeort, ahm afraid the French cannae speak english nor unnerston it neether.

However, with my rugby hat on, I understand the Welsh have a good understanding of English having beaten them up at the Millenium stadium recently. The English were heard to be uttering words, even on TV, that began with f and single syllable. Needless to say the result seemed to be understood by the French as they stirred Coq au Vin with a wooden spoon.

Mais oui ?

[bothwell_buyer]

C'mon the Scots ra moro nicht!! two wan fur us?

By the way I'm looking for anither RAV4 of cheap price as I need another gearbox and its getting cheaper just to buy a car. Its to fit a 1994 RAV4 that has gobbled 3 gearboxes. Colour is immaterial and this is not an advert - but a plea for help from fellow RAVrs who may just have a 6 speed box sitting nicely in cling film.

[Big Kev]

C'mon the Scots ra moro nicht!! two wan fur us?

By the way I'm looking for anither RAV4 of cheap price as I need another gearbox and its getting cheaper just to buy a car. Its to fit a 1994 RAV4 that has gobbled 3 gearboxes. Colour is immaterial and this is not an advert - but a plea for help from fellow RAVrs who may just have a 6 speed box sitting nicely in cling film.

Nae gearbox, Boffs.....just a totally sound rear silencer box aff the 3 door 4.2........if any use, c'est votre.

[bothwell_buyer]

Awfully kind dear chap. It may be that when the number 2 rear box succumbs to further oxidation and the welding breaks I might come asking..... for the silencer box.

I did see one RAV for sale in the trade but it was described as popping out of 5th gear only on over-run. Described as a feature !

[Red Yaris 54]

.......most Frenchmen and Frenchwomen can speak and understand the English language

They can?!

Yes they can........but often choose not to ;)

C'est pourquois vous Anglaises encontre les problems en France, mon ami Rouge Tinycar.......le nom.......? L'arrogance........non?

pas de l'arrogance mon ami .... Il suffit de l'incapacité pour les hommes ou les femmes anglaises de comprendre la langue écossaise ..... Alors, comment un homme peut-Française ou la femme à comprendre sans interprète?

[anchorman]

I can use Google translate as good as the rest. Not mastered Derbyshire yet.

[Big Kev]

......and even Google has made 2 glaring grammaticalistic errors......!!