University Degree

[Demonic Angel]

Husband's University Courses

A new two-year degree is being offered at most Universities that many of

you should be interested in:

Becoming a Husband.

That's right! In just two years you too can be a great husband as

well as earn an MA degree (Male Arts).

Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

FIRST YEAR

Autumn Schedule:

MEN 101- Combating Stupidity

MEN 102- You, Too, Can Do Housework

MEN 103- PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

MEN 104- Women Do Not Want cheap tasteless underwear

for Christmas

Winter Schedule:

MEN 110- Wonderful Laundry Techniques

MEN 111- Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am

MEN 112 -Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception

EAT 100 -Get a Life, Learn to Cook I

EAT 101 -Get a Life, Learn to Cook II

ECON 001A -What's Hers is Hers

Spring Schedule:

MEN 120- How NOT to Act Like a pratt When You're Wrong

MEN 121- Understanding Your Incompetence

MEN 122- YOU, the Weaker Sex

MEN 123- Reasons to Give Flowers

ECON 001B- What Was Yours is Hers

SECOND YEAR

Autumn Schedule:

SEX 101- You CAN Fall Asleep Without It

SEX 102- Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower

SEX 103- How to Stay Awake After Sex

MEN 201- How to Put the Toilet Seat Down

Elective (See Electives Below)

Winter Schedule:

MEN 210- The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

MEN 21 1- How to Not Act Younger than Your Children

MEN 212- You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver

MEN 213- Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise

MEN 230A -Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important I

Spring Schedule:

MEN 220 -Omitting %&*! from Your Vocabulary(Pass/Fail Only)

MEN 221 -Fanning the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary

MEN 222 -Real Men Ask for Directions

MEN 230B- Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important II

Course Electives:

EAT 101- Cooking with Tofu

EAT 102- Utilization of Eating Utensils

EAT 103- Burping and Belching Discreetly

MEN 231 -Mothers-in-law

MEN 232- Appear to Be Listening

MEN 233 -Just Say "Yes, Dear"

ECON 001C -Cheaper to Keep Her

Any of you guys interested?? :D

[Jimlad]

erm... that's not funny <_<

[Demonic Angel]

erm... that's not funny <_<

Aww come on - if I can laugh at all the jokes aimed at birds then you can laugh about this! :D

[ZeroBlade]

... looks like FAR too much work...

i'm out...

i'll tell ya what tho i'm already a master at

MEN 232- Appear to Be Listening

MEN 233 -Just Say "Yes, Dear"

:D

but i'm a %&*! cook, never do ne housework, allergic to flowers so they're a no go! good with hte toilet, usually remember to put he seat down... better looking than tom cruise, burch & belp with food that i eat with my hands (mmm chicken...), err forget birthdays, names etc etc. don't bother asking for directions, i'll get there eventually! but the lass ALWAYS falls asleep b4 me cos she gets tired, ya know what i mean ;)

hrm i think that about sums it up...

-Z

[Jimlad]

MEN 221 -Fanning the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary

Ha HA !! Now that is funny

[ZeroBlade]

it's true tho, i do it...

so do all the lads, lol

else the smell gets trapped "under there"

-Z

[Jimlad]

exactly !! you don't want to sleep in your own smell do you ??

[ZeroBlade]

damn straight jim.

c angel it makes perfect sense!!!

sheesh women ALWAYS havta find something to complain about

-Z

[russell]

MEN 201- How to Put the Toilet Seat Down

What i cant understand is why do we have to put the toilet seat back down for them??

They never put it back up for us. <_< <_<

Russ

[Carlgolsby]

bet there isn't a degree for women that's the exact opposite eh? that's sexist that is :P

[Jimlad]

Russ..... I've wondered the exact same for years mate !

[ZeroBlade]

good point, that's never ocured to me b4!

-Z

[jaxx]

Damn! that tries to take away all the qualitys i have of being a bloke!

[Calisto]

D Angel that is great, if only there was an actual course, alot more women and men would be happy

[jez_1_2000]

MEN 112 -Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception

My girlfriend works in the day, i work at night so i look after my daughter part time :D

EAT 100 -Get a Life, Learn to Cook I

EAT 101 -Get a Life, Learn to Cook II

I'm the cook here, the other half is limited to cooking salads and toast :D

MEN 201- How to Put the Toilet Seat Down

D'oh i'm beat :crutchy:

MEN 210- The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

i never see it...she always has it!!

MEN 21 1- How to Not Act Younger than Your Children

thats a tough one, she a whole 3 1/2 this year and is going to school so i'm beat again

MEN 212- You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver

There is NO way i'd trust her in my mr2 and when she parks she has to get a taxi to the kerb :D

MEN 222 -Real Men Ask for Directions

or read a map! :D

MEN 233 -Just Say "Yes, Dear"

what if she asks if she can poke me in the eye or something????

ECON 001C -Cheaper to Keep Her

cheap??? quote from my girlfriend "i'm buying hannah (my daughter) a burberry coat" wish i had a burberry coat to go out to play in :(

so, Demonic Angel, i didn't do that bad so can i have my degree now please!!!

[EircamAE86]

Naw, ya need to do a proper blokes degree like me, BEng Quarry & Roadsurface Engineering

[knowlson]

MEN 103- PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

I use this most days

[Fidgits]

Yeah, but like most degrees... when you get into the real world you find what you have learnt is useless! :D

[EircamAE86]

Ya man most degrees are a waste of time, im surrounded by music technology and theatre stundents!!!

[Fidgits]

Hey, I did a computer science degree... and now work in the 'computer' industry, and i can honestly say, about 5% of what i studied at uni has been used in the last 3 years!

[jaxx]

ive got an HND in mechanical engineering and know allsorts on material evaluation, umpteen manufacture and production principles and processes, full intergration, differentiation and calculus knowledge relating to theromodynamics, heat and stress transfer, current robot technology etc etc...

and at work i think ive used trig a couple of times!

[Fidgits]

ive got an HND in mechanical engineering and know allsorts on material evaluation, umpteen manufacture and production principles and processes, full intergration, differentiation and calculus knowledge relating to theromodynamics, heat and stress transfer, current robot technology etc etc...

and at work i think ive used trig a couple of times!

now i'll disagree there, i did a HND in electronic engineering, and its a lot more useful (some of it) than a degree... trust me on this...

[jaxx]

im not sayin its useless, im just not in the right job to utalise it

work paid for my apprenticship and thats what came out of it!

although i do have level 2 C&G CNC turning and milling programming on Fanuc, advanced Mazatrol CNC programming and LK Studio Advance CMM programming all under my belt which obviously do count towards my work roll

i also have an NVQ3 in leccy engineerin aswell

[Nicola]

I think this should also be a boyfriend course. It will be taught by women or men who have already passed and have 5 years experience.

Lots of good skills there to learn.

I know someone who knows 5 of the topics. (bet I get asked about this when I get home)

[System~G]

Do I pass?

MEN 102- You, Too, Can Do Housework

I do and I do a lot of it.

MEN 104- Women Do Not Want cheap tasteless underwear

for Christmas

Always expensive a tasteful - may not always be the right size tho :P

MEN 110- Wonderful Laundry Techniques

Falls under and part of MEN102 (Housework)

MEN 111- Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am

I have no choice - I work nights and that's the time I get in - deal with it if my share of the rent and bills are to be paid.

EAT 100 -Get a Life, Learn to Cook I

EAT 101 -Get a Life, Learn to Cook II

I already do - I am the master chef of the house - strugling in the vegetarian department though, but learning B)

ECON 001A -What's Hers is Hers

First thing I learned before we moved in together! :P

MEN 201- How to Put the Toilet Seat Down

I try keep the lid closed too so that each person has something to lift - makes it fair :P

MEN 210- The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

I lost this right a long time ago...

MEN 212- You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver

I offer, but Nicola is the "safer" driver and prefers driving to me driving

MEN 230A -Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important I & II

A lesson already learned!

EAT 101- Cooking with Tofu

EAT 102- Utilization of Eating Utensils

Can't eat tofu.

I bite and scrape my fork (unintentionally) on my teeth

MEN 232- Appear to Be Listening

I always get blamed for "selective" hearing :P does this count?

ECON 001C -Cheaper to Keep Her

??? my living expenses have nearly doubled since moving in together :o

Can I have my degree now? :D