Showering

[System~G]

How to shower like a woman:

Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumic stone. Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash hair again to make sure it is clean. Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes. Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake bodywash. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Check entire body for spots, tweeze hairs. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband or Boyfriend along the way, cover any exposed areas.

How to shower like a man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife or girlfriend along the way, shake knob at her making woo-hoo sound. Look at manly physique in the mirror. Admire size of your knob and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Make farting noises (real or not) and laugh at how loud they are in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt leaving the hairs stuck on the soap. Shampoo hair. Make shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry-off. Fail to notice water on floor. Admire knob size in mirror again. Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife or girlfriend, pull off towel, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise again. Throw wet towel on bed.

[Ryan1985]

Sadly accurate!

Cheers

[dave5282]

Dude, Im laughing so hard it hurts and getting very odd looks accross the ofice, thats so true it scary.

Total genius that!

[kimi]

good god i thought it was just him you all

must be the same :P !

[Moxy]

So true, so true :D

[ZeroBlade]

lmao,

just about to pop in the shwr aswell b4 a nite out :D

-Z

[jaxx]

not forgeting to leave all the bottles everywhere with the lids open.

[Calisto]

That was bloody good.

[knightrider]

i'm not alone then? haha very funny!

[Chappers]

U forgot to sing like michael j/louis armstrong/ ne other!

[Jamesb4uk]

J

[Chuck04]

HAHAHA man thats wicked,

dont forget the loud moan from gf/ wife when they find the state uve left te bathroom in :D haha

[starletsy]

And the how :censor: hot have you left this set on!!

Or is that just me

[Chuck04]

cant say i have, but its always turned down 1 or 2 when i nxt get in it, is it jst me or do men seem to have hotter showers than ladies, i love mine boiling, so nice

i miss my power shower at home d**nit, uni 1 sucks so bad, like a drip

[ZeroBlade]

yeah ur rite about hte heat level, me & the lads i live with have it higher than the girls. i don't normally like heat but its gotta be a HOT shower netime of the day, cold showers r a no-no :)

-Z