Men Strike Back

[Jimlad]

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

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Why do men break wind more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the

front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's s*x drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

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Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

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[JappyBeast]

I'm thinking Jimlad is gonna get a kicking soon!

[Jimlad]

lmao... :D

** sharp exit stage left **

[dave5282]

Jimlads relationships advice

I'll pass on that one ta (LOL)

:o :P :P

[Moffmo]

oh my god, he gonna be surpised gonna get or :fishyface: by sexy crayola or somebody like that and he will look like this :ffs: and hell say :censor: im sorry!, Lying on the floor he'll shout and will and will walk around in :crutchy: and in fear, also trying to be shady then he will relise his mistakes and enjoy a pint

Hehe

Matt

[SexyCrayola]

oh my god, he gonna be surpised gonna get or :fishyface: by sexy crayola or somebody like that and he will look like this :ffs: and hell say :censor: im sorry!, Lying on the floor he'll shout and will and will walk around in :crutchy: and in fear, also trying to be shady then he will relise his mistakes and enjoy a pint

Hehe

Matt

Ok - what you just done to my car??!!!

One of the staff brought me the note - darent go out and look now!

[knowlson]

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Why do men break wind more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

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I swear I saw a program on the discovery channel about that being true

[ZeroBlade]

lmao, i love **** like this

-Z