Jackanory, Maybe?!

[Fidgits]

But in her haste to maintain her 'alleged' fame, her head imploded due to the vaccum caused by only being known for taking her clothes off...

There was much rejocing, and singing of 'the witch is dead'

[Fidgits]

It was a quiet tuesday evening, when there were no interesting posts on TOC, so I devised a cunning plan to aleviate my bordem. I went for a drive in the car the car suddenly cut out, i pulled over and noticed the ignition keys were missing And it was a Citroen Saxo....

i quickly hid the car by covering it with near by leaves and twigs, then i continued my jouney on foot, as i turned the corner who should i bump into but the man from the AA, didn't understand why i had not seen him coming but managed to bump into him, sorry i said to which he replied "Am i glad to see you" i said.

But my embaressment over driving a saxo, meant i could not ask for his help. Why's you embarrased he said, I couldnt afford a Supra so I got the next best thing, which was a pair of Nikes.

i raided my piggy bank but unfortunatly was unable to afford any toyota. this left me only one choice find a hire company with toyotas and hire one so i can finally drive a respectable vehicle and not get laughed at by the local farmers who were enjoying their weekly tractor race along with some those respectable peeps on the TOC website.

Except one guy lost control of his combined harvestor, whilst watching the race, which then crashed into the local maccys d's sending the burberry's outside flying towards a dixons shopwindow with a handful of bricks all eagerly looking for russel grant who happened to be holding the special offers in Tesco.

the AA man by the a copy of this months autotrader wish had a shiny new Beemer on the cover with a flat tyre and a special offer on long distance travel to rampent rabbit factory which is a small island just off the north coast of the isle of lesbos, home to never never land, where peter and his friends were busy cleaning the bathroom with miss world, dressed in their tongues because of the mean old saxo owners club members.

who were all hiding in embarassement when the boogieman popped out of one of the saxos owners club members nose and tipped fuel all over his car but couldn't light it cause it looked so good parked next to a nova so he torched the nova first

Which unfortunatelly led to cilla black revamping the Blankety Blank series Which went on and on and on for 20 years, just like Blind date, And her name was Debbie and she came From Dallas she was a nice girl and had an interesting job that entailed entertaining the oil barons, which led to lower fuel prices

Unfortunatelly though she had connections to tony blair as does every seedy underworld character on the face of this earth. not to mention that her !Removed! were fake and tht SHE was actually a HE! However she did have one big plus that was her ability to get drunk on a single pint which often led to some funny incidents involving Super Sunday Specials, which invloved drinking with Tony B and George Best down the local strip club.

After several vodkas and tequila's George took to the stage but it wouldnt fit through his front door, so in his drunken haze, he left it atop a Yaris in the street but when he returned to get it, the yaris had gone because i had crashed it into a ditch because of jordan wandering down the road topless.

Dont call me that she says im only to be known by Katie, im a proffessional Rally driver dont you know, Im looking for my next celeb or footballer i can sleep with so i can sell my story and get rich, even though im a stupid ugly bint. Do you know where I can find one?

But in her haste to maintain her 'alleged' fame, her head imploded due to the vaccum caused by only being known for taking her clothes off...

There was much rejocing, and singing of 'the witch is dead'

[dave5282]

Until someone noticed the small green man inside her head which was...

[Fidgits]

as it turned out, a bogey that had been the only collection of cells inside the void that was jordans head..

[Chappers]

So that was that. I continued on my initial trail on the bumpy road to freedom, or the local chippy as it were...

[jaxx]

for scampy and chips, all for free aswell because.....

[dave5282]

I am actually...

[Fidgits]

a nova driving chav

[jaxx]

and im proud of that and it gives me a huge sense of self well being all to the dismay of.........

[Hou]

the modifying scene,doesnt matter if im hated i love............

[jaxx]

burberry and cheap cider all paid by you, the tax payer, which i know you.........

[Fidgits]

you would want me to have. After all, why else would you do 30-60 hour weeks, paying 40% to the inland revenue if you didnt want me...

[Hou]

,the police love us,if not why would they come see us all the time

[dave5282]

unless it was look at our expensive strereos, and charge the batteries on our ankle transponders which they track us with in case....

[Chappers]

we go shopping with our mums, or attemp to buy any clothing that isnt burberry or f :censor: g 'safe'. For this reason we each make an oath. The CHAV OATH.

It goes,

I chav...

[dave5282]

Do swear like ****** that...

[Chappers]

Oh **** i forgot to **** say umm ****** whats that word? Slobelmy, sholenly, slololmy, ****, yeah that's it one of those ******ers.

I do's slobemly swear that I Mr Chav....

[DeusMR2]

Do swear like ******

that i will continue to attach pieces of guttering and cardboard to my nova,

that i will rev to my 2000rpm rev limiter at traffic lights,

that i will don the Burberry © cap whenever i am in my chavmobile,

that i will make every effort to secure a girlfriend of at least 12

and that..

[dave5282]

I will act like this until the age of 58, or until...

[corollasr]

burberry go out of business

[Hou]

If they did go out of business tho i would have to move on to other chav items!Stick on bits.....

[dave5282]

of lego, and stickle-bricks..

[Hou]

to build up my new spoiler.....

[dave5282]

to like really big like a fast car which...

[Hou]

will attract the 12 yr olds