Friday Funny

[Fidgits]

- Apparantly a true story -

Scientists at Roll Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets, all traveling at maximum velocity.

The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of there new high speed trains.

Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the American engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestion.

Your going to love this.............

Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo..

"DEFROST THE CHICKEN"

[Firthy]

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Sir, did you call for me?"

The mans replies, "No, what do you mean?" She says, "You must be new here, let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection it implies you called for me." Smiling she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.

The man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sat down he farted. Within a few minutes a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man lumbers out of the steam toward him. "Did you call for me?" says the hairy man. "No, what do you mean?" says the newcomer. "You must be new here," says the hairy man, "it is a rule here that if you !Removed! it implies that you called for me." The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.

The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist. "May I help you?" she says. The man yells, "Here is my membership card, you can have the key back, and you can keep the $500 membership fee." "But sir," she replies, "you've only been here for a few hours, you haven't even had the chance to see all our facilities." The man replies, "Listen lady, I'm 58 years old, I get a hard-on once a month, but I !Removed! 15 times a day!!

[jaxx]

very true on the rolls royce chickens

they also fire them into engines when they are on the test rigs running at full pelt to see what happens if a bird ploughs into the turbo fan

.....generally they explode!

they also spin them up to 300% operating speed and just let them tear themselves to bits!!! good way to waste a few million pounds

nearly had the opportunity to go and see this a bit back but missed out due to holiday but will be going in the near future.

apparantly its quite spectacular!

[DeusMR2]

The first one is definately true, I've seen the video in one of my lectures lol

[gordypix]

I heard the frozen chicken story several years ago - is it doing the rounds again.....