2008 2.0 D4d won't start.

[SilverNancy69]

Here's the long story. I'll try not to be romantic. 

Car pulled up over the road, tons of black smoke and injector knock. Holidaymaker got RAC. RAC wrote it off and told her it was turbo and x,y and z. It would have cost the lady loads to get it transported home and more to get it fixed. 
She called the number the RAC guy gave her for the ''scrap man''. Car transporter turns up early next morning (Sunday) and drives it down the road and onto the trailer. I (wisely (!)) said ''hang on. I'll have it'' It was also bone dry, oil -wise

SO it drove well aside from low power in 1 and 2. Oh and the black smoke. And the injector knock.. 

• Cleaned almost solid EGR and pipes. Cleaned MAF sensor. Obviously to immediate performance improvement. 
• New Injector
• New oil filter and oil change 

Now it won't start. It's turning over. I've bled the injectors. If I spray a bit of easy-start (boo hiss) into the air intake it will engage but sounds like a bag of spanners crashing against the intake manifold so obviously a terrible idea. Diesel IS getting to the injectors. 
I only have one key and unlocked the car with the key and had a good faff with that incase it's an immobiliser issue. 
When I turn it on it sounds like it's healthy. No problems whatsoever. Aside from it doesn't actually start.

Any ideas?