Friday Funny

[Fidgits]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information

The chicken did not cross the road.

This is a complete fabrication, we do not even have a chicken.

GEORGE W BUSH

We don't care why the chicken crossed

the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.

TONY BLAIR

I agree with George.

COLIN POWELL

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX

We have reason to believe there is a

chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other

side of the road.

KOFI ANAN

We have yet to pass a resolution

commissioning the identification of this animal and it is far too early to discuss any road.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR

I envision a world where all chickens

will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MARY WHItheOUSE

In my day, we didn't ask why the

chicken crossed the road. Somebody told

us the chicken crossed the road, and

that was good enough.

RONALD REAGAN

What chicken? I don't remember a chicken

SIGMUND FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual

insecurity.

BILL GATES

eChicken2003 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your chick book - and Internet Eggsplorer is an integral part of eChicken2003.

ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON

What is your definition of chicken?

THE BIBLE

And God came down from heaven, and he

said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS

Did I miss one?

[peterabbit30]

:meet:

keep em coming! that was truly great

[+Steve]

heheh was cool!

[dawesy]

i like this one that is well funny

[TheNissanMan]

A couple more then.....

Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair.

They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face. Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs.

A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.

But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well.

"I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"

A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Clinton's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's revenge.

They begin talking and Bill presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Clinton snickers. A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Clinton roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Clinton falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.

"Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"

Clinton says through tears of laughter: " there is nothing left of Baghdad , or even Iraq , I have just blow it up with a nukes".

________________________________________

Recently Clinton was visiting an elementary school where a kid asked the President to prove who he was. Bill showed the kid his American Express green card and pointed to the limo outside. A similar thing happened to Saddam. He was visiting an elementary school in Baghdad when a kid asked him to prove who he was. So Saddam took the class hostage and burned the school.

________________________________________

What is the Iraqi Air Force motto?

I came, I saw, Iran.

What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?

They both have Kurds in their way.

What is the best Iraqi job?

Foreign ambassador.

Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi

fighter pilots?

You only have to teach them to take off.

How do you play Iraqi bingo?

B-52 ... F-16 ... B-2... C-130... F-15

What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in

common?

They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks

are coming from!

Why does the Iraqi navy have glass bottom boats?

So they can see their Air Force.

[tjaytoymota]

so why did the chicken cross the road

:P

[gordypix]

To get to the other side................but never made it...........along came an Mr2 and splat...............