Mccartney And Mills To Separate

[Bibbs]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4989240.stm

Jokes as follows ..

Paul McCartney & Heather Mills have seperated. Apparently she's hopping round in circles trying to keep things amicable.

Must have been the splinters

She was constantly legless

She's going for a big divorce settlement but she hasn't got a leg to stand on

I always thought there was something false about her

She's asked for a plane as part of the settlement. For the other leg, she wants some Immac

and the list goes on ..

[Caz SR]

Former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney and his wife Heather Mills are to separate after four years of marriage. A joint statement said they had "found it increasingly difficult to maintain a normal relationship with constant intrusion into our private lives".

So would that intrusion be from the same media people that they played to gain maximum publicity for their respective charities? Can't have it both ways. What a load of rubbish.

Should read;

Former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney and his wife Heather Mills are to separate after four years of marriage. A statement said that Ms Mills had grown "tiresome" of humping an old codger after he had long served his purpose.

[alanbradley]

Just read the same thing on another forum, but with the title

"McCartney Files For Separation - Wife Hopping Mad"

:D

A

[Bibbs]

Sir Paul and Mills met at a charity event in 1999

Former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney and his wife Heather Mills are to separate after four years of marriage. A joint statement said they had "found it increasingly difficult to maintain a normal relationship with constant intrusion into our private lives".

So would that intrusion be from the same media people that they played to gain maximum publicity for their respective charities? Can't have it both ways. What a load of rubbish.

Should read;

Former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney and his wife Heather Mills are to separate after four years of marriage. A statement said that Ms Mills had grown "tiresome" of humping an old codger after he had long served his purpose.

Plus £200 mill, should ease the issue a bit ..

Sir Paul, 63, was said to be living on the family farm in Peasmarsh, East Sussex, while 38-year-old Mills was reportedly at the couple's home in Hove.

When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now,

Will you still be sending me a Valentine,birthday greetings, bottle of wine?

If I'd been out 'till quarter to three,would you lock the door?

Will you still need me, will you still feed me,

When I'm sixty-four?

Hmm------mmm---mmmh.

You'll be older, too.Aaah, and if you say the word, I could stay with you.

I could be handy, mending a fuse, when your lights have gone.

You can knit a sweater by the fireside, sunday mornings, go for a ride.

Doing the garden, digging the weeds, who could ask for more?

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty four?

Every summer we can rent a cottage in the Isle of Wightif it's not to dear. We shall scrimp and save.

Ah, grandchildren on your knee, Vera, Chuck, and Dave.

Send me a postcard, drop me a line stating point of view.

Indicate precisely what you mean to say, yours sincerely wasting away.

Give me your answer, fill in a form, mine forever more.

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty four?

Doesn't look like it mate

[PaulT]

Plus £200 mill, should ease the issue a bit ..

That's £24000 per hour!

Paul.

[GIDDLEPIN]

Have a go with this then.

I've started it and there's a link to all the other titles so make up more of the story SONGS

When asked what caused the separation sir Paul replied

“She Came In Through the Bathroom Window” and “I Saw Her Standing There” “I Should Have Known Better” but “Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me and My Monkey” “And I Love Her” now “All I've Got To Do” is “Act Naturally” , she replied “You Can't Do That”, “You Know What To Do” “She Said, She Said”, “Shout” I replied, “That'll Be The Day”, “You Won't See Me” “Any Time At All” ……………..”Hello Goodbye”!!!!

[Demonic Angel]

And the beat goes on....

Although, a few (granted not many) celebrity couples stay together regardless of the press intrusion....

David & Victoria

Peter & Jordan

Preston & Chantelle

Only because they're guaranteed a 14 page spread in next weeks OK titled "We're happily married, unlike Paul & Heather" and then a few weeks later "We are not splitting up" and the next week "The lies that caused him to sleep in the other room" and "We're fighting fit as a couple and no one can come between us"

etc etc etc

Feel sorry when theres a kiddie involved and I do remotely like them for bringing the publics attention to the cat & dog fur trade, but she's always been a gold-digger and he's always been a stodgy old geezer who used to be in the biggest band in the world....

[Blue84]

Why am I not surprised but just the other week in a Sunday newspaper she was quoted as saying they were fine

[Boro Sera]

Why am I not surprised but just the other week in a Sunday newspaper she was quoted as saying they were fine

Ah, but she was being diplomatic. When faced with a tricky question it's always best to give the impression that you're not stumped.

[Demonic Angel]

I've always said "We're fine" in the past when referring to personal relationship type questions.....

a. because I dont want anyone to know the ins and outs without me saying so

and b. its no one elses business quite frankly, so Heather was right to say its fine, its her and Pauls business, no one elses....

Its the done thing, remember Brad & Jen "We're fine", Nick & Jessica "We're fine", Charlie & Denise "We're fine" - you do not mention anything is remotely bad, especially if you're promoting your latest movie or album, or in the Mills McCartneys case, charity work. A lot of celebrity endorsements, including Paul & Heather, is based on them as a couple, not on their own. If you lose the coupledom, you lose the endorsements....

[Lou-Lou]

So that means he's now single and still got a few million left.. hmmm... maybe I can get that Zonda after all..

[Bibbs]

So that means he's now single and still got a few million left.. hmmm... maybe I can get that Zonda after all..

Problem is, you've got too many limbs ..

[Caz SR]

I've always said "We're fine" in the past when referring to personal relationship type questions.....

a. because I dont want anyone to know the ins and outs without me saying so

and b. its no one elses business quite frankly, so Heather was right to say its fine, its her and Pauls business, no one elses....

Its the done thing, remember Brad & Jen "We're fine", Nick & Jessica "We're fine", Charlie & Denise "We're fine" - you do not mention anything is remotely bad, especially if you're promoting your latest movie or album, or in the Mills McCartneys case, charity work. A lot of celebrity endorsements, including Paul & Heather, is based on them as a couple, not on their own. If you lose the coupledom, you lose the endorsements....

More importantly - she loses Maccers, she looses the endorsements. I mean, who is she? 'Oooh she's vaguely attractive *and* she only has one leg - what a trooper', thus more press coverage. Then... 'Oooh she's a one-legged model who's bonking a famous OAP and they're crusading together...' Now they're complaining that the press have contributed to the split. The very press they have played for PR in their resective charities. I wish they'd both just naff off.

[Bibbs]

I'd laugh if he went out and bought her a cat fur coat as a leaving prezzie ..

[Lou-Lou]

So that means he's now single and still got a few million left.. hmmm... maybe I can get that Zonda after all..

Problem is, you've got too many limbs ..

Ah.. I'll hack something off.. for a Zonda

[Bibbs]

Ah.. I'll hack something off.. for a Zonda

you need all 4 for a Zonda .. maybe just promise too ..

[Special Red]

Apperently the reason he wants a split is because she keeps coming home legless!!

[Special Red]

A South African gold miner loses his leg in a mining accident and is sat

in hospital talking to his mate.

"Well that's me f*cked, who on earth's going to want a one legged gold

digger?"

His mate replies "Well, you could try Paul McCartney"

[XT2]

Macca should wear slippers and sit at home instead of chasing chicks young enough to be his daughters.

Women are only after him for his money... love is measured in dollars these days... where is the love?

[jaxx]

A South African gold miner loses his leg in a mining accident and is sat

in hospital talking to his mate.

"Well that's me f*cked, who on earth's going to want a one legged gold

digger?"

His mate replies "Well, you could try Paul McCartney"

lmao

just came here to post that same thing!