Another Deluded Hot Hatch Driver.

[DaveSR]

Ah .... that was so funny

[jaxx]

lmao

vauxaul owners... retarded as per usual

and those VXR's suck balls to start with

[yourlovewas]

SO... If, say, I eat Corn Flakes in the morning instead of Frosties, I can shave a few seconds from my 0-60 on my drive to work?

[Demonic Angel]

The rear seat thing, It is rare that I fold them down, but it has to be said that when folded they remove a bit of weight. Vertical seats exert more downward force because the energy is focused on a smaller surface area. When horizontal, the weight is spread and so is less per Centimetre squared.

Zzzzzzzz -_-

:o Huh, oh sorry mate, were you explaining the reasons for your daft actions just then?

Total class, thats totally made my day!

[Lou-Lou]

SO... If, say, I eat Corn Flakes in the morning instead of Frosties, I can shave a few seconds from my 0-60 on my drive to work?

Or starve youself, don't wear shoes, drive naked and get yourself a haircut, that should increase your power in line with a Lambo

..have we taken this a tad too far?

[Jesus]

Hahahahahahaha... brilliant. I'm off to put the rear seats down in my MR2...

[Al J]

all glove compartments, cubby holes and the boot is empty.

Not the only thing that's empty, then.

Often I put the rear seats flat, this reduces weight. (Like why you crawl flat across a frozen pond so as not to break the ice).

Physics teacher here hoping my lot would know he's talking out of his bottom. It's pressure that is reduced, not weight, dummy!

And nothing would induce me to crawl across a frozen pond!

He's either a complete idiot or, as already implied, a genius!

[yourlovewas]

Ok... Guys,

I must be doing something wrong. I didn't eat dinner, I cut all my hair off and most importantly I put my seats down and after just going out I didn't notice any difference at all? Can you point me in the right direction please?

I mean, you're all being serious. Right?

Right?

[Karma Supra]

Awwwwwwwwwwwww its been locked and most of the posts removed :(

Anyway shouldn't it just ben deluded hatch driver? Nothing "hot" about a corsa!

[stevetubbyturbo]

If i only put £10 of fuel in my Hilux id run out after a hard sprint (crawl) from 0-60

[Woody27]

Also i like the way its suppose to spread the weight across the area even though the cars actually only in contact with the road via 4 wheels I would love to sit their explaining to the guy why it makes no difference just to see his face :P

[Jesus]

I just discovered, based on his theory, that leaving the glove box open shaved 1.2 seconds off my 0-60 time... but my braking distance increased. Perhaps I'm doing something wrong. I'm thinking if I leave the car dirty it will stop quicker due to wind resistance...

[chris202]

WAAAHAHAAAHAAHHAA.....ahh.....lol...thats made my night ! what a fu**in plum he is......sad thing is i bet 90% of corsa drivers belive everything he said , i can just imagine them now ... "oooh yaas ma pure mental back seats ur gettin flattened man it'll make me corrssaaa fast as f**k"

[Al J]

I just discovered, based on his theory, that leaving the glove box open shaved 1.2 seconds off my 0-60 time... but my braking distance increased. Perhaps I'm doing something wrong. I'm thinking if I leave the car dirty it will stop quicker due to wind resistance...

Yes and also leave your lights up.

Further drag can be induced by closing the dashboard air vents or winding down the windows.

[adamgt]

FFS, how does weight magically dissapear by folding seats down

i was in tears reading this!! :D

[JAHill]

I can see it now.

A boy racer pulls up alongside you at the lights with his Corsa "SRi", all spangly and clean.

You hear the petrol in his tank slop around his half empty tank. He looks across at you.

Is he gazing longingly into your eyes or is he racing?

He motions his four passengers to alight from the vehicle and four tracksuit clad muppets file from the miniscule vehicle clutching their bottles of Diamond White. He looks at you again. You see a thought breeze through his tiny mind.

He rushes out of the car and opens the back door and quickly pulls the seats down in the back.

He struts back to the drivers seat, smiling to himself.

Sat revving his car, he waits for amber, the signal to all boy racers, to go.

Your heart beats.

The lights change amber.

His engine roars. Flames errupting from his 5" Tailpipe of Doom. Thunder rumbles in the distance. Lightning strikes the road ahead. He leaves you in his wake as he accelerates to 60 in just 3 seconds. A girl magically appears on his passenger seat and starts stroking his thigh. He speaks, in a voice not unlike Vin Diesel,

"It's the seats. Get's 'em everytime."

Then he wakes into reality. His clock beeping, sheets damp with... erm... sweat.

"Breakfasts ready Jeffrey. Come on, you'll be late for school." ;)

[Demonic Angel]

I can see it now.

A boy racer pulls up alongside you at the lights with his Corsa "SRi", all spangly and clean.

You hear the petrol in his tank slop around his half empty tank. He looks across at you.

Is he gazing longingly into your eyes or is he racing?

He motions his four passengers to alight from the vehicle and four tracksuit clad muppets file from the miniscule vehicle clutching their bottles of Diamond White. He looks at you again. You see a thought breeze through his tiny mind.

He rushes out of the car and opens the back door and quickly pulls the seats down in the back.

He struts back to the drivers seat, smiling to himself.

Sat revving his car, he waits for amber, the signal to all boy racers, to go.

Your heart beats.

The lights change amber.

His engine roars. Flames errupting from his 5" Tailpipe of Doom. Thunder rumbles in the distance. Lightning strikes the road ahead. He leaves you in his wake as he accelerates to 60 in just 3 seconds. A girl magically appears on his passenger seat and starts stroking his thigh. He speaks, in a voice not unlike Vin Diesel,

"It's the seats. Get's 'em everytime."

Then he wakes into reality. His clock beeping, sheets damp with... erm... sweat.

"Breakfasts ready Jeffrey. Come on, you'll be late for school." ;)

Sad thing is..... you know its true.....

[Bibbs]

He motions his four passengers to alight from the vehicle and four tracksuit clad muppets file from the miniscule vehicle clutching their bottles of Diamond White. He looks at you again. You see a thought breeze through his tiny mind.

They don't need to get out .. just lie down in the back .. and the weight magically dissapears .. Didn't you go to school?

[kirst_ie]

I can see it now.

A boy racer pulls up alongside you at the lights with his Corsa "SRi", all spangly and clean.

You hear the petrol in his tank slop around his half empty tank. He looks across at you.

Is he gazing longingly into your eyes or is he racing?

He motions his four passengers to alight from the vehicle and four tracksuit clad muppets file from the miniscule vehicle clutching their bottles of Diamond White. He looks at you again. You see a thought breeze through his tiny mind.

He rushes out of the car and opens the back door and quickly pulls the seats down in the back.

He struts back to the drivers seat, smiling to himself.

Sat revving his car, he waits for amber, the signal to all boy racers, to go.

Your heart beats.

The lights change amber.

His engine roars. Flames errupting from his 5" Tailpipe of Doom. Thunder rumbles in the distance. Lightning strikes the road ahead. He leaves you in his wake as he accelerates to 60 in just 3 seconds. A girl magically appears on his passenger seat and starts stroking his thigh. He speaks, in a voice not unlike Vin Diesel,

"It's the seats. Get's 'em everytime."

Then he wakes into reality. His clock beeping, sheets damp with... erm... sweat.

"Breakfasts ready Jeffrey. Come on, you'll be late for school." ;)

PMSL

Im quite fond of modded cars, but ive never read so much bull ***** in all my 23 years of life.

The back seat thing has cheered me up a treat ;) Needed a good laugh

Like someone said all other corsa owners believe him, who's more pathetic? Him for saying it or the other people who will believe him?

Pillock

[Al J]

JAHill. that was brilliant. Nice one, mate!

[JAHill]

He motions his four passengers to alight from the vehicle and four tracksuit clad muppets file from the miniscule vehicle clutching their bottles of Diamond White. He looks at you again. You see a thought breeze through his tiny mind.

They don't need to get out .. just lie down in the back .. and the weight magically dissapears .. Didn't you go to school?

Unfortunately, my secondary didn't teach GSCE T**tery. Although I forgot to use an apostrophe somewhere in the post. The shame!

[Lou-Lou]

I think we should send the link to this thread to him...

[Bibbs]

http://www.vxronline.co.uk/messageboard/vi...der=asc&start=0

[Lou-Lou]

I think we should send the link to this thread to him...

This means registering to a Vauxhall forum..

I might just have to do it..

[cmarshall]

lmao he is certainly 'special'