European Security Heightened

[Jamesb4uk]

European Security Heightened

The ENGLISH are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist

threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon,though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or

even"A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz

in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "!Removed!

Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "!Removed! Nuisance" warning

level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the FRENCH government announced yesterday that it has raised its

terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in

France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a

recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively

paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of

alert: ITALY has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and

Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:

"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The GERMANS also increased their alert state from "Disdainful

Arrogance"to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have

two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

BELGIANS, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only

threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The SPANISH are all excited to see their new submarines ready to

deploy.These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new

Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

J

[Jinxed]

[GIDDLEPIN]

And the Swiss as usual "Don't give a F***" ;)