Friday Joke For All

[Red Yaris 54]

New Zoo Keeper

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.

First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge

fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death

with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes

of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is

attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with

a spade killing them both. What can he do?

Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything.

He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South

American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He

grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do

and throws them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another

lion and says "What's the food like here?"

(Wait for it!!)....

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The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with

Mushy Bees."

Well I liked it

[Pompey Gaz]

l0l

[1bloke1dog1mr2]

[Devil-ish]

[MarcTS]

I do love a joke that makes you want to gouge your eyes out as pennance for reading it in the first place lol

[Pompey Gaz]

what you all on about, that was an ace joke!

[Red Yaris 54]

Sorry for those who did not like the original joke :P

Try this one:

A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says "Hey Koala ! what are you doing?"

The koala says: "Smoking a joint Lizard, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.

After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you, Koala!"

So the koala looks down at him and says "Faaaaarrrrk me Lizard.......how much water did you drink?!!"

Is that any better?

[Pompey Gaz]

HAHAHAHA

[MarcTS]

Is that any better?

Yup good work fella

[cfc1]

Ah!.. you did remember to get your coat ;)