Friday Funnies

[Red Yaris 54]

A man stumbles up to the only other bloke in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

'Why, of course,' comes the reply.

The first man then asks, 'Where are you from?'

'I'm from Ireland,' replies the second man.

The first man responds by saying, 'you don't say. I'm from Ireland too. Let's have another round to Ireland.'

'Of course,' replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks, 'Where in Ireland are you from?' '

Dublin,' comes the reply. 'I can't believe it,' says the first man,

'I'm from Dublin too. Let's have another drink to Dublin.'

'Of course,' replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks, 'What school did you go to?'

'St Mary's,' replies the second man, 'I graduated in 1962.'

'This is unbelievable,' the first man says. 'I went to St Mary's and I graduated in 1962 too.'

About that time, one of the regulars comes in and sits down at the bar.

'What's been going on?' he asks the barman.

'Nothing much,' replies the barman. 'The O'Malley twins are drunk again.'

*************************************

A man comes home late one night, drunk.

"Where have you been?" asks his wife.

"In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!"

This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls the Golden Bar.

"Do you have golden chairs?"

"Yes."

"Do you have golden glasses?"

"Yes."

"Do you have golden beer?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a golden urinal?"

"Hold on."

On the other end, she hears "I think we have a line on the guy who p***ed in your saxophone".

************************************************************

A farmer is sitting in the village pub getting quietly drunk.

A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"

Farmer: "Some things you just can't explain."

Man: "So what happened that is so horrible?"

Farmer: "Well, if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over."

Man: "That's not so bad, what's the big deal?"

Farmer: "Some things you just can't explain."

Man: "So then what happened?"

Farmer: "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over."

Man: "Again? So what did you do then?"

Farmer: "I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right."

Man: "And then what."

Farmer: "I sat back down and continued to milk her and just as I got the bucket just about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."

Man: "Wow, you must have been pretty upset."

Farmer: "Some things you just can't explain."

Man: "So then what did you do?"

Farmer: "Well, I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. At that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in. Some things you just can't explain!"

[mac12]

NICE!

nice way to end the week...