The School Answering Machine

[Raistlin]

No wonder some people were offended

This is the message that the Maroochydore High School Queensland, staff voted

unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine .

This is the actual answering machine message for the school.

This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be

responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.

The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing

grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent

15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to

pass their classes.

The outgoing message:

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In

order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen

to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2

To complain about what we do - Press 3

To swear at staff members - Press 4

To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your

newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8

To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

To complain about school lunches - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be Accountable

and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that

it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and

have a nice day!

If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it.

[Bizarra]

Brilliant

I once answered my phone saying "This is Martha's whorehouse, Martha speaking" Long silence at the other end It was my Accountant's Secretary who recognised my voice :shutit: . Answer , eventually, "I'll put you through to Mr xxxxxxx now, Victor! :lol2: