The Bachelor Diet

[Raistlin]

Monday

Breakfast - Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow

some toothpaste while brushing your teeth

Lunch - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers"

- those little hamburgers that used to cost a £1.50 but

now cost 99p. Also order French fries, a

bowl of chilli, a soft drink and have her stop on the

way back for a family size bottle of maalox.

Afternoon Snack - Drink the maalox

Dinner - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken

three-piece Dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.

Tuesday

Breakfast - Eat the coleslaw

Lunch - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety

five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat

whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.

Dinner - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.

Wednesday

Breakfast - Jaws couldn't eat Breakfast after a night at

El Flasho's

Lunch - Rolaids and a coke

Dinner - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for

scraps

Thursday

Breakfast - Order out for pizza

Lunch - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber

sack forleftovers.

Dinner - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get

hungry ask the bartender for olives.

Friday

Breakfast - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds.

Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better

and it's better for you.

Lunch - Skip Lunch, Fridays are murder

Dinner - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't

eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.

Saturday

Breakfast - Sleep through it.

Lunch - Ditto

Dinner - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts.

Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them

in a hanging basket.

Sunday

Breakfast - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.

Lunch - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.

Dinner - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about

renting your old room.